I also realize that I have started building this wall that doesn’t allow guys in for a relationship. That, topped with not really knowing how to meet someone to begin with, because I don’t want to do the online thing at this point in my life, I guess I’ll be on my own for a while.

I’m just not sure I’m ok with that.

As for following your heart, I’ve done that enough times in my life. I tend to get all puppy dog, follow you all over, call a lot… As I get older and obviously in a long committed relationship for the last 9 years, I don’t do that anymore, but 10 years ago, I would be a mess once I got dumped, taking my pain out in loud music, cigarettes and 4 nights a week at the bar, just to name a few things to distract me from the breakup.

I think that since you’ve recognized your mistake of allowing yourself to get swallowed up in your past relationship, and since you’re so adamant about it not happening again, you’ll be just fine. Still, there’s nothing wrong with taking things slow and not jumping into anything too soon.

He might be the one he might not be but how will you know if you don’t give him–and yourself–a chance.

And in a healthy relationship it is less likely that you will lose yourself in his life than you will create a new world of ‘US’ that meshes both of your lives.

And I am so happy that you are ‘owning’ getting healthy.