Snackie's World

Picture it: a hot Sunday afternoon filled with the promise of good times to come.  There’s a woman whose head is filled with expectations of good friends, good food, good booze and good times. She slips on a sundress and platform flip-flops just so that she can carry a laundry basket full of dirty clothes to the complex laundry room, fully taking advantage of the fact that nobody else would likely do laundry on such a festive holiday.  As she impresses herself by daintily floating down the stairs with so much heavy cargo, she smiles and internally pats herself on the back at the fact that she’s lost nineteen pounds this summer and is much lighter on her feet.  She almost starts skipping and whistling a tune when suddenly and without warning….

Her foot catches some kind of conical looking object that has fallen from a nearby tree and she stumbles.  Unlike other moments that she’s played the role of Madame Butterfinger, she is unable to stop the inevitable.  There is no time to even think “oh shit” as she attempts to break her fall with her left arm.  As her body scrapes the ground and she slides across the courtyard like a jet plane coming in for a landing, the pain immediately soars through her body and she instantly screams, “Fuck!”.  She’s not going to cry though, dammit.  She’s going to get up and walk this off.   As she attempts to get up, however, she realizes that things are really messed up and that she’s not going anywhere for quite some time.  As she spends countless minutes focusing on her injuries, she fails to remember that she just fell down in a sundress and has shown half of the apartment complex her bright pink chonies with hearts on them.

Yes yes, my friends…”she” is me and as some of you on Facebook already know, I had a total “Jack and Jill” moment on Sunday afternoon.   The first thing I noticed after falling is that my left pinky was crooked and that I couldn’t move it at all.  The fingernail was folded all the way back, exposing flesh and blood that should not have been seeing the light of day.  The rest of my left hand and arm were scraped up pretty badly.  I failed to even notice that my left knee was torn to shreds until later that day when it started to turn black and blue and swell up like a grapefruit.  I spent all afternoon checking into and checking out of the Emergency Room simply because I’ve never had a broken anything before so I had no idea what to look for.  Beyond that, I’ve spent the last two days nursing aches and pains that I never even knew existed until at least 24 hours after the fact!

My pinky seems to be healing up extremely quickly.  I am even sitting here typing with the top half of my pinky nail missing in action.  Ironically, the things that I was less focused on, if at all, are the things that are now officially killing me.  I have no idea how the hell my neck got involved but I can barely turn it today.  My back is in pain and both of my legs are like, “yeah, you want me to do what? Just piss yourself lady…we are not walking to the bathroom!”.  I had to take a day off of work today, which I hated doing.  I was going for the “New and Improved Hilly Perfect Attendance Award” and now I have so failed that.  However, I must say that if there were ever a valid reason to call off work, this would be it.  At least I don’t have guilt issues over being home today so yay on that front , huh?

And now, because I am me and although much has changed in my life except this, I must say something.  It’s amazing the lessons that one can learn from a fall like this.  No no, I was not Sister Mary Dramatica because I fell.  I don’t think I stared death in the face or anything else silly like that.  Nay nay, what I am talking about here is the thing I touched on with the pinky.  I have noticed that everything in life that screams at you, whether it be metaphorically or literally, is easy to deal with and usually heals first.  You tend to nurse those wounds and those situations until they come back kicking and screaming in record time.  It’s the quiet, sneaky aches and pains that usually do you in.  Sometimes other people hide them from you and sometimes you push them so far under the rug that you forget they are there until they smart and tear at you once again.  I guess life is filled with obvious metaphors if you sit around long enough to think about them.  Obviously, I have nothing better to do today besides think and yanno, watch Charmed and Angel in syndication.  Gee, don’t you wish you were me?

Kisses To Make It Better,
Me